A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he finds a note from the monsignor on his office, saying
"When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a
glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I
take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the
beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this
and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's,
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
Well i am well and truly snowed under with work.
Sheesh
On the plus side... NEW KILLERS ALBUM! yay
And its almost christmas
Im strongly considering going into engineering after uschool, we have been discussing careers a lot at school recently. I hope to study it at uni. If anyone has any info/advice please share
Peace out










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there's a party in your bedroom all night long.
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It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.
-Albert Eintstein
hey, meine Lehrer kommt aus Berlin! er heißt Alexander und er ist 44 Jahre alt. lol
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there's a party in your bedroom all night long.
Greetings from Athens-Greece!
thank you very much for the
I hope you find interesting photos in my gallery
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admin of =The-Yard-Collective Street Photography Club
...a cool place to see life as it is.
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It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.
-Albert Eintstein
--
there's a party in your bedroom all night long.
--
It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.
-Albert Eintstein
--
there's a party in your bedroom all night long.
--
It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.
-Albert Eintstein
--
there's a party in your bedroom all night long.
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